By Paul Reilly
Recently, I was helping my daughter with her spelling homework. I checked her work, and she correctly spelled each word—clearly a gene from her Mom. However, I noticed two words were barely legible—clearly a gene from her Dad. Her cursive needed coaching.
So, I congratulated her on a job well done and pointed out the words she needed to rewrite. She attempted to erase the words, but no rubber was left on the eraser—it was worn to the nub. She pressed harder, and the graphite smeared. She clearly needed a fresh eraser. So I grabbed another pencil and handed it to her. She erased the scribble, rewrote the two words, and finished strong. Moments later, she put the pencil down and happily dug into her Nutella-smeared waffle.
While cleaning up, I noticed the worn-out eraser beside my 8th grader’s pen. This subtle contrast highlighted the quiet transition we all make from pencil to pen. Switching to a pen is a sign of growth. Symbolically, you’re now ready for the responsibility that comes with ink. The pen is permanent.
In my training seminars, I rarely see participants take notes with a pencil. It’s all pen. The pen symbolizes growth and maturity, but with a pen, there is no erasing. You lose the ability to fix the tiniest mistakes. In my daughter’s case, the loop on the cursive “l” wasn’t quite high enough; it looked like an “e”. It was a tiny mistake, certainly not worth tearing up the page and starting over. But if you are writing with ink, that’s the only option. Think of all the tiny mistakes we’ve made in ink—the ones not worth fixing. Over time, those tiny mistakes add up.
From my experience, world-class sales organizations give their team members pencils, not pens. These organizations provide their team with the mindset and skill set to improve continuously. Tiny mistakes are not ignored; they’re corrected. Wouldn’t you rather create a sales culture where sellers use a pencil? Let your sellers know that pencils are not a sign of youthful immaturity; it’s the true symbol of growth. Here are a few ideas to foster a culture of growth and learning:
Listen like a coach, not a boss. When you tell a great coach you’re struggling, they listen with open ears and open hearts. Great coaches listen with the intent to support, not judge. If you expect them to be open and honest, offer them the same. Consider sharing your challenges—model vulnerability.
Prioritize asking questions over providing answers. Generate dialogue that helps your team attain their own understanding. This self-discovery leads to a deeper level of commitment and real growth. Our research on top-achieving salespeople indicates they spend more time listening to customers than speaking to them. Great coaches do the same.
Stop doing your kid’s homework. To continue the above analogy: How often are you spelling the words for your kids? As a sales coach, it’s tempting to save your salesperson from failing. That is a mistake. The pain of failure and the sting of setbacks can be motivating. Painful moments open sellers to coaching and feedback. Give your team a wide margin to make mistakes and reassure them that mistakes are not permanent. Capturing the next opportunity erases the past failure (or at least…provides a fresh sheet of paper).
High praise should be coupled with high expectations. When I reviewed my daughter’s homework, I praised her for spelling each word correctly. However, she still had room to grow. Focusing on the details sets a higher expectation. People rise or fall to the expectations placed on them. Celebrating mediocrity damages long-term growth. Ensure you offer praise when and where it’s due. Praise should match performance, and feedback should reflect your standards. Never burden anyone with low expectations.
After my daughter finished her homework—and her waffle—we cleaned up the counter. I helped her file the homework in her folder, and she ran off to play. I grabbed the eraser-less pencil and placed it back in the drawer. It made me smile to see several other pencils with erasers worn down to the nub. A worn eraser is a sign of growth, diligence, and care. Be concerned if your team’s erasers look new. Support your team with high expectations, meaningful praise, an open ear, and plenty of pencils to grow.